Animal
by FullyMessy
Summary: You can find someone and lose them, all at once / After months of torture, Daryl escapes the Savior's Compound. Still suffering from the aftermath of his capture, he refuses contact with anyone who approaches him. When Carol finds out she immediately goes after him, hoping to help him. But what she finds in the woods no longer resembles the man she knew so well. (S07- Caryl fic)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

I just want to put a warning out before I start this fic. This is a work of fiction and I am not trying to describe a specific mental illness. I am not trying to stereotype any illness or comment on them either. Everything surrounding Daryl's mental state had been created for the story line. If these kinds of themes are upsetting to you, I would recommenced not reading any further.

Also, I think its made clear in the first chapter, but I just want to point out that the timeline is not canon. Daryl was held captive longer then he was in the TV series and Carol was also living away from Alexandria for longer.

Well, I think that's everything, remember if you like the direction and idea of it, let me know in the comments or hit the follow/fav button.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

She wasn't hiding. At least that's what she told herself, to begin with. But no matter how many times she chanted those words to herself, they never quite sunk in. She could never really make herself believe them.

The truth was, no matter how much she hated to admit it. She'd run away from her home and she was now hidden away, far from her problems and from anyone who truly knew her.

Ezekiel made his trips to see her every chance that he could, but she never allowed him to pass the threshold. Instead, she sat with him on the porch and listened as he recounted stories from the kingdom. And occasionally Morgan would arrive with nothing but his quite company to offer her. He never stayed long and he never tried to intrude on the solitude that she had created, within the walls of the small house.

In a way, she felt as though she was living in some kind of sensory deprivation tank. She didn't see much of the walkers. She didn't see many people. She refused to hear about any news of home and Morgan had promised that If anyone came looking for her, he would lie about knowing her whereabouts. She was completely cut of from everything and that was what she wanted. That had been her plan when she left Alexandria in the middle of the night, all those weeks ago.

So she was confused when she opened her door and found Michonne standing on her porch..

She looked around before settling her eyes back on the women. Though she was happy to see her, she couldn't hide the fact that she felt as though her space was being invaded on.

She felt like she was in a showdown of sorts.

She stood strong and kept eye contact with Michonne. Michonne done the same.

She felt as though if she let the stance falter, she would be showing that she wasn't standing by her decision to leave Alexandria. And she was standing by it.

Mostly.

Kind of.

Finally the women relented and she released a sigh. "Are you gonna invite me in?"

The simple question threw more questions in to the air. She could hear them behind each word. It was almost as if the women was scolding her, but not for her rude manners.

She hadn't allowed neither Morgan or Ezekiel to come, but as she looked at Michonne she knew the women didn't fall into the same category as her other visitors.

She stepped aside and let Michonne into her space. Giving her a forced smile and a nod, that she offered in place of a greeting.

Michonne walked in and looked around, unashamedly inspecting the space that Carol lived in. She touched things and poked at them. She picked things up and examined them.

Carol folded her arms and leaned into her heel as she watched Michonne wander around the small house that had become her new home.

"Why are you here Michonne?"

Michonne let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough, before she turned around to face Carol.

"Why are you?" she asked with an almost pleading tone.

"I just-.." she paused and her eyes searched the floor, as if it held the answer she needed. Something she could offer to explain herself. But when she found nothing on the floor but the old mat, she guessed that the only real thing she had to offer was the truth.

"I just don't want to be a part of it anymore...the fighting."

Michonne's eyes softened, as they had a tendency to do when she felt some understanding towards you. But once that _look_ wore away, something else appeared and the sight of it, instantly ran a chill through her blood.

"What is it?"

She tried to remember a time when she had seen Michonne's eyes fill with tears. She was sure it had happened in the time that they had known each other, but she hadn't been with the women to witness it.

Michonne made her way to the couch and sat he self on the edge, quite obviously waiting on Carol to join her.

There was a voice in her head, telling her to run. Telling her "you can't handle anymore then you have already endured". But she ignored it, as she always did, and sat down.

She felt then as though all of the air had been sucked from the room. The house no longer felt like the safe haven she had created and the walls didn't feel as strong as they had an hour ago. She could feel it all around her, the haven she'd created was seconds from crumbling.

Michonne explained, as carefully as she could, that both Glenn and Abraham had been killed. She explained what happened, offering more detail then Carol really wanted to hear. But no matter how upset Carol got, Michonne continued on, retelling the events as she had witnessed them.

Just when she thought the story was coming to an end, she explained that Daryl had been taken by Negan and the Savior's.  
She felt like something heavy was in her chest and it was making it even more impossible to breathe.

She wanted to scream.

Selfishly, she wanted to hit rewind on today and not answer the door when Michonne knocked. Because she couldn't handle this, the voice had been right. She couldn't handle the anger rising in her, the rage and pain. All of it had her ready to rise to her feet and go after them. All of them.

But she didn't move an inch, she couldn't move when Michonne continued on.

She explained the state that Daryl had been in, when Negan brought him back to Alexandria. She described the look in his eyes, she described his injuries and she described his silent and broken demeanor.

Michonne told her there was nothing they could do. The compound where Daryl was being held, was heavily guarded and populated. They were armed and they were vicious. Attempting to rescue him would only cause more problems and everyone agreed that there was no way they would succeed.

So regretfully, they had left him there.

"I'll go." She whispered firmly, ready to rise and leave right now.

"I'll get him out-" she said as her eyes landed on her gun on the table. She stood up quickly and made her way over to it, instantly picking it up to check it.

"You don't need to. That's not why I'm here" Michonne said carefully, reaching out with one hand, as though she could touch her from across the room.

"I'm not going to leave him there" she said with far to much aggression, as she grabbed her bag from the floor and started making a mental checklist of the things she needed to pack.

"Carol. Daryl escaped. We're not sure how, but we found out from an inside source, that Daryl left the compound almost a week ago"

She stopped and let out a heavy breath. He was ok. She could stop wondering what it would be like if she couldn't break him out, because he was ok.

"He's alright?" she asked, wanting the reoccurring thought to be confirmed.

"Well,…he's alive" Michonne said quietly, obviously gauging Carol's reaction.

She didn't understand why the women who had no problem going into so much detail a few minutes prior, was suddenly having trouble being straight forward.

"Is. He. OK?" She repeated when Michonne didn't elaborate.

Michonne's eyes narrowed for a moment as she clasped her hands together. Carol could tell then that she knew exactly what she wanted to say, but she was trying to find better words to say it.

"We are in the middle of a war Carol. There is a lot going on. We came to the kingdom to look for help. We were hoping the kingdom could offer some fighters so that we have a chance against the saviors. But Rick and I, we were also hoping we could convince Morgan to tell us where you are. We were hoping to find you and bring you back, so that you could help Daryl"

"He's hurt" Carol guessed, as the sinking feeling returned and she found herself feeling even more sick then she had before.

Michonne shook her head and then shrugged. "I don't think so, but I can't really be sure."

Carol didn't expect the growl that erupted from her chest, but she didn't try to repress it either.

"Michonne! What's going on. Is he ok, or not?"

Suddenly Michonne jumped to her feet and Carol was happy, she could see that the time for tiptoeing around everything was over.

"I don't know Carol. He wont let us near him. He wont come home and he wont talk to anyone." She stopped and let the emotions she was trying to cover break through the surface slightly. The frustration and heartache she was feeling was unveiled and Carol could see it clearly.

"He looks at us like he doesn't even know who we are. Like he's afraid of us. I don't know what they did to him in there, but he's-"  
Michonne stopped herself but Carol was starting to understand why Michonne was trying to choose her words carefully.

There was no mulling over anything, or further questions. There was nothing but an urgency running through her blood.

She nodded her understanding. "You take me to him."

* * *

"This area, it's safe. There isn't any reason the saviors should come anywhere near here." Rick explained as he charged through the woods ahead of them.

She could tell, that though Rick wanted to help, he also didn't have time to be dealing with this. He had a group of people waiting on him to lead them forward. People who were looking to him, hoping that he knew how they were going to survive through yet another bloodbath. She guessed that if it had have been anyone else out here, Rick wouldn't be the one leading her to them. Of course he would have been concerned, but he wouldn't be the one dealing with it.

"Once I realized he wasn't going to let me near him I started leading him off in this direction."

She frowned slightly as Rick spoke. "You herded him?"

Rick looked over his shoulder at her. She expected him to be offended but all she could see staring back at her was concern.

"I didn't know what else to do. I had to get him away from the fighting and away from the saviors. So yeah. I guess I did."

She knew Rick wished the words didn't sound so cold. He spoke as though he was talking about a rabid dog and she knew that it was crushing Rick to hear the words leaving his mouth. But obviously he didn't have any other words for it.

"There's a stream, right over there" he said, pointing ahead of them. "That cuts down on the walkers in the area and it gives him a bit of cover. He's been staying by it. He seems pretty-..content to just stay there. If you get to close he might run off, but he'll eventually comes back to the stream."

Carol nodded as the knots in her stomached tightened.

She wanted to believe that it wasn't as bad as Rick and Michonne had made it sound, but the tone of Ricks voice and his obvious anxiety led her to believe it was probably worse then they had explained.

"There!" Rick whispered firmly, holding his arm out to the side to stop her and Michonne from walking into him.

In the distance she could see him. She was to far away to get a good look at him, but seeing him like this was almost to much to bare.

His hands were laced together behind his head, closing both his arms around his face like a shield, as he paced back and forth. His staggering steps were uncoordinated and carelessly taken. If something got in his path he didn't try to step around it, he simply let it push him aside. Every few seconds he shook his head furiously to himself and continued on. She wanted to get closer to him, she wanted to talk to him and wrap her arms around him. She wanted to be there for him like he had been there for her so many times.

"If you need a break or-"

"No break" she said quickly stepping ahead of Rick, watching as Daryl continued on with his circling.

"I can handle this."

She heard Rick let out something of a sigh of relief. Before he and Michonne started unloading their bags onto the ground.

"Food, water, supplies. I packed him some clothes and there's some medical supplies in there to. We don't know if he needs them or not, but they're there if he does"

"Tent and blanket.." Michonne announced dropping her bag alongside Ricks.  
"Plus I put some extra weapons in there, just in case. There's also a Walkie in the front pocket, you need anything you let us know" Michonne finished.

She was ready to speak, ready to tell them she could take it from here, when she hard Daryl let out something of a growl from where he was, causing all of their heads to snap in his direction.

He still hadn't sighted them, the noises he was making were seemingly directed towards whatever torment was echoing through his head right now.

She hated to think it, especially about him. She hated the fact the the thought had ever even passed through her mind. But it had. He looked crazed. And as she looked at him, over there by himself, she felt like she could start crying. She didn't have any special skills in this area. She didn't have much to offer him, but everything she had, she would happily hand over to him. She just wanted him to be ok.

"Are you sure Carol?" Rick asked again, drawing her attention away from Daryl.

She nodded firmly.

"I am. I got this."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

I got a review about the timeline and I just wanted to make sure it's clear what has and hasn't happened.  
Firstly yes, Carol was with Tobin. Everything that happened leading up to Glenn's death, happened as it did in the show.

The main difference in the timeline is the period between Glenn's death and Daryl's escape, rather then weeks it is months. This also applies to the time Carol spent at the house she occupied after leaving Alexandria.

We can all just go ahead and assume it took the residents of Alexandria and Hilltop a little longer to decide to fight back against the Savior's.  
If you have anymore questions let me know.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_(**Vibe:** Monsters by Seafret)_

Once Rick and Michonne left, she stood there watching him, feeling completely out of her depths. And those feelings only intensified the longer she observed him.

Without much thought she took a few steps in his direction, before she realized what she was doing and stopped herself.

She wanted to get closer to him and she wanted to find a calm way of letting him know that she was there. So she decided not to get to close. She didn't want to sneak up on him. She also didn't want to call out to him and startle him. She decided the best thing for her to do was to wait him out, until the time was right, and then go from there.

She could see his pacing starting to slow, she was sure it was because he was tiring himself out. Whatever chaos was stirring in his head was far from over, but his legs just didn't have the energy to join him anymore.

With out any reason Daryl suddenly stopped and looked over his shoulder, away from her.

She wondered if he had heard something. She was worried it was a walker, but as she looked around she could see nothing.

Daryl quickly turned to face whatever it was that had distracted him and she waited for something to appear.

She'd seen the fear cover his face as he took in the sight, one that clearly was only visible in his own mind, before his head started shaking back and forth and suddenly he let out something of a growl that was closer to a yell.

She was almost relieved when he retreated back behind the cover of his arms again.

He laced his fingers together behind his head again and started pacing once more. He was obviously in distress, but whatever had just happened, whatever his mind had conjured up had genuinely scared him and she didn't want to see that fear in his eyes.

* * *

After watching him for hours, Daryl slowly slid himself from the episode he was enduring. She dreaded to think of how long it had been going on before she had arrived.

Daryl didn't stop or seem to question much. She never saw a moment of deliberation. She guessed that it was as simple as hunger hitting him, so that meant he was going to eat now.

Daryl's only weapon was a knife attached to his belt. Rick said he had left guns where Daryl could find them, but Daryl wouldn't take them. Apparently Daryl looked at the guns with little interest and ignored the fact that they were appearing in spots around him.

Daryl unsheathed his knife and started walking through the woods. She decided this was probably a good time to let him know that she was close by. This was as close to lucid as she had seen him and she needed to take advantage of that.

Carol quickened her pace to catch up to him, but still maintained a good distance between them. She hoped that by doing this, when Daryl did notice her, he didn't feel threatened.

Her mind scanned through different ways to approach him. She silently constructed strategies and different options. She weighed up the pros and cons of those options, and continued thinking it through from every angle, to make sure she did this right.

But she couldn't think of a single thing when Daryl's arm swung hard and fast.

The knife spun through the air, landing with a crack as it hit the tree, pegging a now dead squirrel to to the bark.

Maybe she should have been prepared for what came next. She didn't know what else she was expecting him to do.

She stood frozen in her spot behind him as he ripped his knife free, bring the corpse of the squirrel with it. There was no ceremony or deep thought behind his movements as he tore the squirrel's fur back with the tip of the knife. He didn't waver for a single second before his fingers started ripping pieces from the inside of the squirrel and eating them raw.

"Daryl!"

His name barked out of her mouth without any thought and it fell out far to firmly. All consideration of timing had evaporated. All her careful planning was useless.

She had said his name just as she would done anytime that she'd seen him doing something concerning. There was surprise in her tone and scolding, and she hated that both were clearly there for him to hear. It was definitely not the smooth approach she had been hoping for.

His head spun in her direction and she started kicking herself even more then she had been.

There was fresh blood smeared over his face and his eyes were wide with shock, but it didn't take anymore then a few seconds before they were narrowed in on her.

"I didn't mean to surprise you" she promised, as his eyes scanned her over from head to toe.

There was still a good amount of space between them, but she could see marks on him that hadn't been there before. If the thick layer of dirt on his skin was removed, then she was sure she would find even more.

"You know me Daryl. I just want to talk" she added keeping her voice low and calm.

Daryl barked out a sound that she'd heard rumble right up through his throat, before he turned on his heel and started briskly walking away from her.

She finally understood what Michonne had meant. Daryl really did look at them like strangers.

There was a distance in his eyes that hurt her, more then she ever imagined anything could. She hadn't said anything to Michonne, but she had hoped that reaction Michonne and Rick had received from Daryl, wouldn't mirror his reaction to her. She liked to think that there was no one else on earth who she knew better then Daryl and she knew without any doubt the the man knew her inside and out.

At the very least, Daryl was her best friend.

There was times when she had hoped for more, but she knew he wasn't ready for that and she was content just having him with her.

She would have been ok if he'd never let their relationship progress beyond the friendship they shared, because it was still the most meaningful connection she'd ever shared. She could look in Daryl's eyes and see the love he had for her, starring back.

But right now all she could see was fear and confusion.

* * *

The sun was setting when Daryl returned back to his spot by the water. His steps faltered when he saw her in the distance, watching her for a minute to see if she was going to leave him alone.  
Once she made it clear she had no intention of approaching him, he went about his business and never took the time to look at her again.

She set her tent up, started a fire and cooked herself something to eat, all the while watching Daryl wonder aimlessly around his preferred spot by the water.

There was a lot to worry about when it came to Daryl. She didn't know what was going through his head, or what had endured to cause such a fragile condition. There was also his physical state to be concerned with. He was obviously malnourished and though she hadn't gotten close enough to have a proper look, she feared he was injured.

As it got darker Daryl sat down and leaned his back into a tree by the stream. He drew his knees up to his chest and settled his arms on them. It wasn't long before Carol could see him slightly rocking and shaking his head before he dropped his head over his arms.

It wasn't like earlier when he was pacing. Then it had appeared as though something was clawing into him, refusing to let him go. But right now, Daryl looked as though he was handing himself over to it.

She wondered if it was because he didn't know how to fight it, or simply didn't see the point.

Carol saw the moment Daryl decided he was tired, and it was much like when Daryl had decided he was hungry. He didn't put any thought into it. He simply decided he was ready and let himself fall into the dirt.

She fought the urge to go and cover him over, knowing he wouldn't appreciate it. And she didn't want to be the cause of him running off into the woods in the middle of the night. So she settled for watching over him while he rested.

She assumed that Daryl's exhaustion was enough to have him out cold for the night, but after only a few hours of sleeping she could see him tossing and turning. She could hear him growling and groaning out pained sounds as though he was being tortured.

She had seen Daryl have a lot of nightmares in the time she had known him, but they were never like this. The sounds he was making didn't sound like him, and the way his body violently twitched, didn't look like anything she'd seen him do before.

With a sudden jolt to his body Daryl woke up, searching around him for something that wasn't there. He jumped to his feet and turned in a circle, drawing his hand to his mouth so he could start chewing on his nails and the tips his fingers.

That was when he started again.

Daryl's actions quickly feel into the same sight that she had seen upon her arrival. He was caught up in something, and whatever it was that had him in its clutches, was upsetting and overpowering him.

Daryl barked out noises in the dark and shook his head, as though he was trying to shake something out from his mind. But he obviously never succeeded.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she noticed the walker stumbling through the woods towards them. The light of the fire was enough that she could only just make out figure roaming into their space.

She grabbed her knife and hopped she could circle around Daryl without him noticing, so that she could kill the walker and not disturb him.

As she rose to her feet, she noticed Daryl stop what he was doing and drop his hands back down to his sides. She was sure he had seen her moving toward him, until he pulled out his knife and stumbled over to the walker. He drove the blade into it's skull and watched it fall to the ground.

He stood there for longer then was needed. Starring at the body on the ground before he was seemingly pulled back into the darkness that was brewing in his mind.

He started his repetitive steps once more, only stopping when the occasional walker stumbled into their campsite.

From what she could see Daryl was safe. From what she could see Daryl was able to protect himself. No matter how stuck in his own head he appeared, he did seem as though he was aware of his surroundings. Knowing that made it easier to relax, it made it easier for her to lay down and rest her eyes.

* * *

When she woke, she found that Daryl was dragging a rotted corpse away from the camp by its legs. She watched as he disappeared out of her sight and then returned later to start his journey again, grabbing another of the walkers he had taken down through the night.

She sat there watching him, noticing his blank stare and creased brow as he completed the task that he had set for himself.

There was something so lonely about the act. She wasn't sure if it was the expression on his face or the way he wondered off into the woods by himself, but that was how he looked right now. Alone. In every sense of the word.

With that thought she got to her feet and quickly started packing her things up.

It was the only thing she could think to do. It was the only way she could ease the pain of having done nothing for him since her arrival, except maybe scare him and make him uncomfortable.

It was only ten feet, but it was ten feet closer to where Daryl spent most of his time.

It wasn't until she was pushing the pegs for the tent into the ground that she noticed Daryl standing with his arms crossed watching her.

He had returned from dragging another of the walkers away, without her noticing.

He looked confused and uneasy, clearly noticing that she was slightly closer to his space. She froze, awaiting his reaction that she knew would appear, once he fully processed what she was doing.

She could see him chewing his lower lip as he reached one hand up and started kneading the back his neck. She stayed still waiting on him to object or show his discomfort, but instead he dropped his head down and walked over to the last body that was left in his space.

It wasn't much and logically she knew that, but right now she felt as though she had completed something significant.

He needed time and that was fine, she had nothing but time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

(**_Vibe: _**_Flesh And Bone by Keaton Henson_)

No matter how hard she tried to make the move without Daryl noticing, he always caught her in the act. And today was no different.

He had returned, while she was still working on dragging her tent closer to his space. She was half way though the task, when she realized he was watching her.

He didn't look as surprised or as confused as he had the first time he'd seen her. In fact, she was sure that she actually seen him roll his eyes at her efforts, before he shook his head and returned to what he was doing.

It had been three days and in that time she had grown more concerned for his well being. She knew the effects of insomnia couldn't account for all of the issues that Daryl was dealing with. But she guessed that it definitely was the cause of a few of them and that it was only making the other problems more intense and harder for him to handle.

She had a few ideas of how she could help him, but all of her ideas involved her getting closer to him.

She had to accept that right now, the only thing she could do was work on getting him comfortable with her presence.

Once he returned back from dragging the last corpse from their area, he seemed almost lost, like he didn't know what to do.

She watched him as he looked around the space, gnawing at his lower lip.

It wasn't to long ago, that she could look at Daryl and have a pretty good idea of what was going through his head. But right now, she didn't have a clue.

She got up form her spot and started collecting branches, so she could make a small fire and cook her breakfast.  
She noticed Daryl starring at her, but she didn't draw attention to it. Instead she kept doing what she was doing and hoped that he could see that she had no intention of doing him any harm. She simply wanted to exist in the same space as him.

In truth she wasn't sure if Michonne was right or wrong. She didn't know if Daryl had somehow lost his memory or if he had simply lost his trust in every human on the face of the planet.  
There were times when Daryl looked at her as if he didn't know her, at the very least, like he didn't know what to expect from her. He seemed to view her as being just as unpredictable and she viewed him.

Daryl's face seemed to soften slightly as she sat down and started making her breakfast. For a single second she noticed him take a step in her direction. It looked as though the movement was involuntary. Maybe there was no serious thought behind it. Maybe there was something about the scene he was watching, that triggered something in his memory.

He had a place beside her, that place had been on reserve for a very long time. He didn't need to ask for it and he didn't need to do anything to take it. He just needed to sit. Then they could eat and talk, like they always had.

He could tell her whatever he was comfortable with telling her and she she wouldn't push for more then that. Eventually she would find someway to make him smile and then they would enjoy each others company in silence, until it was time to rest.

But Daryl didn't take his spot. He stopped himself before he took another step in her direction. It looked as though the simple idea of walking over to her, had been enough to set something off in his head.

Quickly he wrapped his arms around himself and roughly shook his head, before he hurried off into the woods again. Alone.

She fought the urge to follow after him or call out to him. It didn't matter that he didn't want her company, those instincts were still there. She still felt the need to comfort him.

He'd only taken a few steps into the cover of the woods, when the Walker caught both their eyes. It was approaching Daryl quickly and she noticed his hand instantly go for his knife.

She knew Daryl could handle himself, he'd proved that time and time again, but it didn't stop her from watching him and readying herself to help him, if he needed it.

He took the Walker down with ease and without skipping a beat she watched his whole form freeze and angle himself to the side. She quickly realized what his intentions where and jumped to her feet.

"Daryl. Stop" she snapped.

Daryl spun around to face her, watching as she quickly approached.

She had every intention of getting closer to him, but she stopped when she noticed him back up slightly.

"You can't do that" she said firmly, trying to hide her frustration.

Daryl seemed surprised and curious more then anything. His brow was creased and he was frowning at her, but he hadn't made another move to leave.

"You just killed a Walker. You need to at least wipe that knife off"

Daryl looked down at the walker, then to his knife and then over to the spot where the rabbit had been, before he looked back to her. When his eyes found hers again, it was obvious that he was annoyed with her.

He quickly turned on his heels and started briskly marching off into the woods.

"I know you don't care. But I do. You could get sick, I know you know this Daryl" she called out as he wondered away from her sights.

She heard him growl out a noise of irritation before he swiped the knife over his pants. She was sure that he only did it because he knew she was following after him and he wanted to be alone. But he had listened to her, he had acknowledged her request, she couldn't help but be excited about that.

She didn't think Daryl was was being careless, from where she was standing, she feared it was more that he just wasn't thinking clearly.

* * *

She made her way back to their small clearing, after taking down some walkers, that had been heading towards their campsite.

When she got back, she found that Daryl had returned while she was gone, after being away all day.

He had fresh blood on his hands and around his mouth, letting her knot that he had recently eaten. She didn't like the idea of him eating animals raw, but she knew there wasn't much she could do about that right now. She decided to just be happy that he had eaten something.

She could see it in his posture and in the blank expression on his face, that something was pulling at his mind, something was trying to drag him deep inside of himself, to a place where no one could reach him and he had no hopes of escaping.

It almost seemed like Daryl was sucked in, as soon as he had nothing to occupy himself with. Once he had nothing to worry himself with, his mind would wonder and she would lose him to the war that was going on behind his eyes.

There were few things in this life that she had witnessed, more tragic then watching Daryl in this state. She felt like she lost him over and over again. Sometimes, as she watched him, she wondered if she could ever bring him back from this. She knew she would never give up and she would never stop trying, but she also wondered if it was pointless.

She sunk down to the ground when he started pacing. Like everything else that was happening to Daryl, there was nothing she could do to help him. All she had to offer, was to make sure he was safe in his surroundings while he lost himself.

He was still a few hundred feet away, but she was close enough to see the pained expression on his face and hear the noises erupt from his chest, whenever everything became to much for him to bare.

The grunts and growls were often low grumbles that scratched their way out of his throat, but sometimes, like right now, they sounded more like yelling or begging.

He wanted it to stop and he was obviously pleading with something to leave him alone, but whatever it was that plagued him, didn't let up. There wasn't anything she could do but watch as he roared at nothing and began smacking his palms into the sides of his own head.

She tried to choke back the stinging in her own throat and the burning in her eyes, but there was no use in fighting it. The sight was simply to much for her take in, without her emotions getting the better of her.

The sounds he was making inevitably drew walkers in on them and she quickly grabbed her knife to fight of the two, that came stumbling through the woods towards them. She had assumed Daryl was far to caught up to notice them and initially maybe he had been, but he soon realized they were making their way into the space.

The pain and fear she had seen etched in his eyes was suddenly wiped clean and was replaced with rage. She stopped and stood still, watching as he suddenly stopped pacing and ran at the walkers.

He took down the closest with a quick stab of his knife, but he didn't offer the same treatment to the second. She watched as he launched himself at the walker and tackled it to the ground before he started plunging his knife into the walker, needlessly and violently.

She knew he was unleashing something inside of him onto the rotted corpse and that only served to make her heart ache more, knowing he had something so angry and explosive stuck inside of him.

Eventually his body gave in and he let himself fall back. He sat in the dirt starring at the corpse, but she doubted he was focusing on it. He was still caught up in his own thoughts, but they didn't have the same grasp that they'd had on him only minutes before. And for that she was grateful.

* * *

When Daryl returned from dragging the bodies of the walkers away, most of the evidence from his most recent episode, was drained from his expression, but she feared it wouldn't take much before he was dragged in once more.

As he made his way back into the space he stopped and watched her again, as she started to prepare dinner.

She looked over at him as she worked and forced a weak smile at him, that he seemingly ignored. There was something about what she was doing that interested him, but she didn't know why it caught his attention. She decided that she was going to take a chance.

"I have plenty. You can come and eat with me if you want" she offered as she hung the pot over the flames.

Daryl eyed her cautiously, but he didn't run away. She tried to hide her eagerness to continue on, she reminded herself to keep her tone light.

He tilted his head to the side wrapped his arms around his chest, obviously interested in something she was doing.

"You love my cooking? You always have" she pointed out casually.  
For some reason, those words made him frown at her and she quickly tried to think of a way she could back track or change the subject, while still hanging onto it.

"You must be getting tired of raw meat. Right?" she questioned, forcing another smile, hoping to calm him down. But it didn't work.

He dropped his head looked down at his feet, starring at them before he slowly walked over to the stream. The expression on his face was one she hadn't seen over the last few days. There was no vacancy in his gaze, no pain or overwhelming fear. Right now, Daryl just looked sad and she was sure that something she had said had brought those feelings on.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I know this story is a bit slow paced but it does pick up soon.

I also wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed, fav'd or followed. It's a great motivator and I really appreciate it.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

(**Vibe: **Holland by Novo Amor )

Carol didn't have any time to stop herself from screaming out in shock.

She hadn't even fully opened her own eyes when she'd seen the dead eyes of a walker starring back at her.

Quickly she scrambled back on her hands and feet, preparing to fight.

It took her far to long to realize that the Walker wasn't moving. It took her too long to realize that the hand she'd thought was reaching for her, wasn't. It was stretched out towards her, but she assumed that was simply they way it landed on the ground.

And she wished she had have noticed all of this much sooner, rather then reacting how she did.

When she looked up she'd found Daryl holding the body of a walker, that he had been preparing to drag away.

At first she had seen shock in his expression, but that quickly faded. Right now, he just looked angry with himself. And that made her angry with herself.

He dropped the walker he had been readying to carry off and marched himself in her direction. And she held her breath and stayed still as he approached.

It was the first time that she'd seen him voluntarily enter her space, since her arrival a week ago. Only now did she know, that just because she hadn't seen Daryl come close to her, didn't mean that he hadn't. The walker lying dead on the ground a few feet from her was proof of that.

As he got closer to her, she could finally get a better look at him. The marks on his face, that she had assumed was only dirt, was also a mess of bruising.

From what she could tell, there were few spots left on Daryl that didn't show signs of healing bruises. In amongst those bruises, were cuts and scrapes, marks that showed where his skin had split on impact. It wasn't hard to guess how he had suffered those injuries, it was obvious that he had been beaten badly.

But what she couldn't make sense of were the stitches on his temple, on his arms and wrists, mirroring their positions and sizes on either side of his body. Those she couldn't explain away. She didn't know why they were there or what they had done to him.

His eyes didn't find her's as he reached down and snatched up the walker.  
He still looked angry with himself, even after she quietly thanked him for keeping her safe through the night.

Sometimes she was sure that he would rather she just go.

But feeling as though Daryl didn't want her around, wasn't something she hadn't dealt with before.

That was exactly how she felt when she had first met him. But she'd soon figured out, that just because it felt like Daryl didn't want her around, didn't necessarily mean he wanted her to leave.

* * *

Daryl didn't pay her any attention as she moved her tent closer. Daryl couldn't seem to focus on anything right now but the demons that were fighting to pull him into the darkest places of his mind.

She guessed that few people would see the difference between the episodes that Daryl was enduring. But she could.

She had seen the different ways his face twisted, heard the different sounds he made and the different ways he held himself as he paced. Even the ways that Daryl took his steps were all depending on what he was feeling and experiencing in his head.

There had been days when she knew that she couldn't approach him, even if he allowed such a thing. She was sure that he would lash out, he would feel threatened and he would react to her without realizing who she was, or where he was.

But there were days, like right now, when she could almost feel him longing for some kind of comfort.

She could see that he was afraid, more afraid then she ever remembered seeing him.

She could hear him panting out a pained sound and see tears falling freely from his eyes.

But still she couldn't help him. She needed to keep on going with the slow pace she had set.

There was no way to approach him right now without scarring him and ruining all the progress she had made with him. He would see her as threat, as an invader. Rather then someone he was becoming comfortable with again. Whenever she did approached him, he needed to see it happening. He needed to to be fully aware and ready for the encounter. And right now that wasn't a possibility.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when Daryl had finally come back to reality.

He had spent the last hour looking out over the water. He leaned his back into a tree, with his knees drawn up and his arms draping over them. He looked calm and tired. And approachable.

She often wondered if Daryl had more things to ground him, that he wouldn't slip away quite so easily. Maybe if his mind had something real to focus on, then he wouldn't get so caught up in whatever chaos was running wild in his head.

She was still ten yards away when his head swayed in her direction, locking his gaze on the ground at her feet.

He glared and his body visibly recoiled from her, but he made no attempt to run from her and he didn't work to ignore her approach. This was the progress she had made in the week since her arrival. And even though he was almost snarling at her her, she was grateful.

"I was wondering if you might be able to help me. I uh- I could use some help."

It was manipulative. _She was being manipulative_.

She knew he still felt bad about leaving the body by her while she was sleeping. He felt bad because he had scared her, even if she didn't think it was necessary for him to feel that way.

She knew that no matter what was going on with him, there was still a deep rooted desire in him to help her, she could see it in his eyes. Knowing that he felt like that, made her feel like she was exploiting those feelings. But she didn't have much else she could use to help her gain some more ground with him.

"I'm having trouble catching anything around here. My supplies, there running low."

She lied on both accounts. She hadn't attempted hunting or setting up snares. She didn't need to, because Rick had left her with more then enough supplies to keep her going.

Daryl's head lifted slightly and beyond his furrowed brow she could see his narrowed eyes meeting her's. He still looked angry and uncomfortable, but she could see curiosity and eagerness swimming in his eyes.

"Do you think that you might be able to hunt something down for me? So I can cook some dinner."

Daryl's eyes stayed on her's, starring at her hard, as though he was trying to figure out if this was some kind of trick. She just hoped he didn't figure out that it kind of was.

She held his gaze for as long as he held hers. She wanted him to know that she meant no harm, she just wanted his help. But she also missed him looking at her, she missed seeing those familiar blue eyes fixed on her. And she wondered for a moment if maybe the reason he held her gaze for so long, was because he missed her's to. But she knew that was just wishful thinking.

The rough and frustrated growl that Daryl released was enough to make her jump back a step and she was glad he didn't notice it.

He got to his feet and kept his head hanging low, as he stormed off into the woods. Leaving her to wonder if he was going to hunt, or if he was simply trying to get away from her.

She sat and waited, while slowly gathering what she needed to start dinner. It was almost two hours before he returned, swinging the corpse of the rabbit at his side like a rag doll.

He was quite obviously still annoyed, but she wasn't sure if those feelings were directed at her or himself. She guessed that maybe he was angry with himself for feeling compelled to help her.

She stopped what she was doing and smiled at him as he approached, but his irritated expression never faltered for a second at the sight of it.

He got close enough to toss the rabbit to her and not a step further. He ignored the thanks that she offered him as he turned and made his way back to the water. Obviously ready to continue on with what he had been doing before she interrupted him, as though it was calling out to him.

She worked fast to get everything in the pot and cooking. Doing what she needed to do to assure that the meal would be ready soon.

Daryl was settled back into the same spot as he had been, sitting himself in the same position, starring out at the water in silence.

There was a very good chance that she was pushing her luck and she didn't exactly know what to expect, but she had to do something. It seemed that if Daryl sat still for to long then he was more likely to slip into something, or that something was able to sink it's claws into him. She figured she had made enough progress to at least try and keep him grounded.

Once again his head turned in her direction as she got closer and once again he refused to look at her. She could still see that same discomfort in his posture and expression, but he didn't appear to have any intention of running away from her.

She was hoping he would respond better to her if he didn't feel pressured or she decided to keep it simple and to not appear to eager.

"Dinner will be ready soon. There's more then enough for both of us."

Daryl didn't move an inch or respond in anyway to the offer. He seemed focused on the ground and she wondered if he had even heard her, or if maybe he'd already started to get caught up in his own thoughts.

"You caught the rabbit, you should come and enjoy it. And I'd- …." she stopped herself and thought through what she wanted to say. Her sudden silence brought Daryl's eyes up to meet hers and it was all the encouragement she needed to continue.

"I'd like it if you joined me for dinner" she added watching as the question caused Daryl sights to drop back to the ground and a crease to form in his brow, while his hands began fidgeting with one another.

She nodded to herself, accepting that she couldn't do much more then that. She had asked him and he hadn't completely ignored her and he hadn't ran away. That was probably more then she could hope for.

As she stirred the pot and began getting the bowls and utensils out, she noticed his movement out of the corner of her.

She decided not to draw any attention to him. She kept her sights down on the task at hand, preparing him a spot on the other side of the fire, away from her.

She hoped that if he could see that there would be some distance between them, he might feel more inclined to come over and eat with her.

Daryl had always had his own ways of coping with things that he found to be foreign or uncomfortable, that was just as true now as it had always been.

And even if right now she was having trouble figuring out a ways to help him, she could at least recognize that Daryl was trying to work something out in his head. It was as though he was trying to figure out a way to fit her into this mess he was caught in. Because much like her, Daryl didn't like being alone and she doubted that had changed.

She took her times filling the bowls. She gave him time to consider what he was going to do and if it was possible for him to take the steps he needed to take.

Right now he stood awkwardly, only a few feet away. She could see how nervous he was at the thought of completing the simple task and she had no idea what he would decide on.

She considered telling him that he could take the food and go, she'd do just about anything to ease his anxiety. But she knew that in the long run, it wouldn't help him.

She placed a filled bowl and a bottle of water on the other side of the fire, where she had laid a blanket out for him to sit on. Then she quickly moved back to her side and settled in.

He took two steps, before he abruptly stopped himself. She could see his jaw tighten, as he used his hand to roughly rub at his arm. He began gnawing at his lower lip and looking around him, as though searching for signs of danger, before he forced himself to take a few more steps in her direction.

She looked up and softly smiled at him, hoping to help calm his nerves and he responded by taking the last few steps needed before sitting down across from her.

She did her best to pretend she wasn't watching him and that she wasn't internally jumping for joy.

He shoveled his food into his mouth with the spoon and she could see his eyes widen with each mouthful, before his face dropped back into the angered expression, that she was unfortunately growing used to.

She tried to figure out what would be needlessly pushing him into discomfort and what might benefit him. But she felt like today had been a good day and he had responded to her being a little pushy, so she decided to see if her luck would hold out.

She heard an unmistakable hum of approval from Daryl as he ate. It was a sound she had heard many times since she met him and it left her quietly hoping one day to hear it again, and that maybe he would follow it up with the crooked smile that she quietly adored.

"I used sage and rosemary. Your favorite" she pointed out, watching his eye flicker up at her, before darting back to his food.

She had actual fantasies of him just snapping back into the person he'd been before all of this. She missed him. She missed talking to him, she even just missed the comforting sound of his voice. Even when he was talking to someone else, even if she could only barely hear it coming from down the hall, in the house they once shared in Alexandria. It didn't matter. It always soothed and eased the tension in her body. It always helped her relax and feel safe.

"Do you want some more? There's plenty here" she offered when she noticed his bowl almost emptied.

The grunt that he offered her, was made without much thought. And though he didn't use any words, it was a loud and clear _yes_.

He kept his eyes down as he held out his bowl to her, then started absently pulling at the tip of his index finger, while she filled it back up for him.

He didn't look back up again until she was reaching over to him with his freshly filled bowl. And when he did look up, he met her eyes at looked into them for a long moment.

For a second his whole form relaxed and his face softened.

She knew in that moment that it wasn't hopeless, she could help Daryl. She could help him fight what ever war was going on inside of him.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I'm not happy with this chapter. I tried to fix it a few times but I wasn't getting anywhere, eventually I just gave in and accepted that it sucks. I think the next one is much better, hopefully I will have it finished uploaded soon.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

(**Vibe:** Ghost by Wildes)

It would be a lie to say that Daryl had acted out of anything but pure frustration with her. It had nothing to do with his current state and everything to do with her annoying him.

He'd left early in the morning, to drag the corpses away from camp. When had returned, he'd found her moving her tent closer to the spot where he slept.

She froze in place when she'd seen his eyes starring at her, hard and unrelenting.

He'd stormed over to her and come close to knocking her off her feet, when he'd shoved her aside.

He snatched up the corner of the tent and pulled it towards the water.

For a moment she wondered if he was going to throw it into the stream, but instead he stopped and left it a few feet away from where he usually slept.

She was still frozen in her spot watching him when he dropped it on the ground and turned to face her. He was huffing and puffing, out of pure annoyance and he was quite obviously trying hold back the anger that he was desperate to release.

He swung his head towards the tent and looked back to her.

She was happy she knew him as well as she did, or the silent request would have been lost on her.

"I won't move it again. I promise." she assured him.

He continued to look her over with his hard gaze for a few more seconds, trying to decide if he believed her. It wasn't until she weakly smiled at him, that he finally growled and dropped his eyes down, before storming off to continue on with his morning tasks.

* * *

She hated to think it, but if anyone could see him now they'd be afraid of him. There were very few traces of his skin left. He was so caked in dirt that he looked as though he had just crawled his way out of the ground.

There was dried blood all over him, from the animals he had killed and skinned, or simply ripped into and eaten. His hair was matted and she was sure if she was ever given the chance to tend to it, that she may have no other choice but to simple chop it all off.

She'd thought if she could spend more time with him, that she could find traces of the man that she had known. But the more time she spent with him the more she realized just how different he was.

She could talk, but she couldn't expect him to pay her any attention. At least not in any obvious way.

There was no eye contact or replies and there was no signs of interest.

Not that it mattered. The things she talked about were of little importance to him or anyone. She honestly even bored herself.

She only talked about things that had happened before the world fell apart. She talked about movies she had seen, books she'd read. She talked about missing fast-food. She talked about the towns she lived in and random things she had witnessed. And she stuck to those simple subjects, because it was clear they didn't make Daryl uncomfortable.

What made Daryl uncomfortable, was talking about the farm, the prison or Alexandria. About their lives with their group, their family. Anything that he had once been a part of. If she tried to steer him in those directions, he would leave the camp and not return until the next day.

He hunted for her, he prepared whatever he caught for her and then he stayed with her while she cooked. For the past few days, he had sat with her during lunch and dinner. After they ate, he helped her gather everything up and take it to the stream, so they could rinse everything off. But Daryl never spoke, most of the time he flat out ignored her.

She had managed to coax little more then an occasional grunt from him. But he was unwilling or unable to offer her anything more.

Sometimes she asked him direct question, something that couldn't be answered with a growl, but usually Daryl disregarded her and let the question hang between them.

But it didn't stop her from trying.

"You've been there right? I remember you saying something about Thomaston. Did you live there or just pass through?"

She noticed him glance in her direction, but he continued to eat his meal and ignore her.

She knew the answer to her own question. She knew he and Merle had lived there once, they'd talked about it in length. She could still remember the night he'd told her about it. They were on watch at the prison and he had been listening to her list of the towns she had lived in. Daryl had perked up at the mention of Thomaston. He'd liked it there, he'd been happy there.

And maybe he knew that she remembered that conversation. But she couldn't be sure of that. She couldn't even be sure if he remembered it. She wasn't a hundred percent sure that Daryl remembered living in the town.

Her line of unanswered questions fell silent when the echoing of gunfire sounded off again. They had been hearing it for days, but it was clear that it was far away from them. It was nothing for them to worry about, but she noticed how much it unsettled Daryl. It always had him looking like he was ready to jump out of his skin.

Daryl had twisted himself around towards the sound, as though he would be able to see the danger, even though they both knew it was miles away from them.

His hands were locked in place, still holding the bowl and spoon in the same position as he had been before the interruption.

"It's ok, Daryl. It's nowhere near us." she said softly, noticing Daryl's shoulders loosen slightly, but he held his position, looking into the woods behind him.

She felt guilty every time she heard the guns being fired and random explosions erupting. A part of her knew she should be fighting, that she should be with her group. But she also knew she couldn't ever bring herself to leave Daryl. And taking him with her was not an option. They were at a safe distance from the fighting, but the sounds still scarred him, they still had him ready run and hide. She dreaded to think what it would be like for him if he was any closer.

* * *

She'd stayed awake for as long as she could.

She'd sat and watched him sleep and she had savored the the hour of calm that washed over him. It was as though he found somewhere safe to hide, somewhere quiet and peaceful, but eventually that dark thing found him again. It had discovered the the place he had crawled into, hoping to rest, and it sunk it's claws into him and dragged him out.

Slowly his body began twitching, his legs began lightly stretching and he murmured out faint sounds.

Before to long his whole body was thrashing, his legs were kicking and he was crying out in pain.

As much as she knew he needed his sleep, she wished he'd wake up from the torment that he was suffering through. There were times when she covered her ears with her hands and squeezed her eyes shut, just for a moments relief from the pain of watching him suffer through this.

When he woke, it was with a jolt. As though he'd been struck by lightening. He roared out a agonizing sound and jumped to his feet looking around him, expecting to see the same scenery that he had been faced with only seconds ago.

She wished that some relief would wash over him, that he would find some comfort in knowing that what ever he had been dreaming of was nothing more then a memory now. But the residue of what had flared up in his nightmares was still there and far to strong for him to simply shake off.

She had tried to talk to him and tell him that he was ok, that he was safe here with her. But he couldn't hear her over the commotion in his head.

She had fallen asleep watching him pace back and forth with his arms wrapped around himself and she had woken to the sun coming up and the sight of him dragging a walker into the woods.

He needed to sleep. That was one thing she knew with complete certainty. Until he slept for more then two hours it was impossible to tell just how much of his episodes were hallucinations from sleep deprivation.

She had always had a plan for helping him with that, she had just been waiting until she was close enough to follow through with it. And now she was.

She went through the bags that Rick and Michonne had packed her until she found the Walkie. She moved quick and kept the call short, trying to assure he didn't overhear her, when eventually made his way back to camp.

When she finally got through, it had been Carl that answered her call. She gave him a request to relay back to Michonne and Rick. She just hoped they could help her execute her idea. It was clear that Carl was in a hurry and that he was busy. Hearing that in the boys voice only added to her guilt.

By the time Daryl made his way back into the camp she was sitting quietly by the stream filling a pot with water.

Once upon a time Daryl would advert his eyes if he was caught starring at her. Even if he was only doing it absently. Some times he just got caught up in his own head and his eyes would settle on her while he was thinking something through. And she would feel his eyes on her her and she would always look over to find him looking at her intently. That was when he would look away, sometimes he would shake his head at her as some silent form of apology.

But now Daryl had no problem starring at her. When she turned to look at him, he held her gaze tightly in his. It was enough to have her starring back at him and getting lost in her own thoughts.

She smiled at him and noticed the slight soften of his features. "Coffee?"

He didn't nod or grunt. Instead he followed her over to the spot by her tent, where they ate. He took his place across from her and quietly waited on her.

She poured him a cup and mixed in the excessive amount of sugar that she knew he liked, before handing it over to him.

He didn't acknowledged any of her attempts at conversation and he didn't make a single sound when she asked him questions. But she noticed that when she stopped talking he looked up at her, waiting on her to continue.

When they were finished he got to his feet and led her to the stream. He had usually helped her rinse of the dishes after they used them and he obviously was ready to do the same with the mug he'd used.

She opened her mouth to offer to do it for him, but quickly thought better of it and stopped herself.

She knelt down beside him and dipped her mug into the stream when she noticed the movement out of the corner of her eye. Someone was there, watching them.

Quickly her whole body stiffened and she was ready to rise back up. "Daryl there's-"

Before she could finish his hand grabbed a hold of her wrist, silencing her and holding her in place beside him.

"Shhhh"

She looked over at him as he hissed the quiet sound and lightly shook his head.

She could feel his thumb moving lightly back and forth over her wrist, attempting to keep her calm. It was enough to draw her eyes to the movement.

When she looked down she realized that he had abandoned the mug in the dirt and he was already gripping his knife firmly in his grasp. It was clear that he had known before she did that someone was nearby.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

(**Vibe:** _Can I exist by Missio_)

There were traces of his old self lingering in his eyes and touch. Even though his hold on her was firm, she could feel him trying to soothe and reassure her and that reminded her of how he used to be and other times when he had attempted to soothe her.

When she had seen Daryl faced with danger in the past, she'd seen him visibly push his fear down, until there was nothing showing in his features, except his focus on survival. And that's what she could see right now.

"I left my gun over there" she admitted bleakly, knowing how stupid she had been.

Maybe she was reading into things far to much, but as she voiced her confession, Daryl's thumb ran over her wrist with a bit more pressure then it had before.

The tent was to her right and they had sighted the man to their left. She had a chance of getting it, before whatever was about to happen, happened.

His head turned slightly and he looked at her face with his hard narrowed eyes, as his hand slowly unwrapped from around her wrist. She glanced down at the loss of contact and noticed his hand was out flat, and she took the gesture as a sign that he didn't want her to move yet.

When she looked back to his face, she found that his eyes were still on her. He nodded his head in the direction of her tent and she knew what he wanted her to do. What she didn't know, was what he himself was planning.

Before she could open her mouth to ask him, he growled out a vicious sound and shoved her in the direction of her tent, just as he got to his feet and ran to their left.

There was no time to tell him to stop and she knew it would be stupid to go after him when she was unarmed. So she scrambled to her feet, almost tripping forward in her haste to move.

She ran as quickly as she could towards her tent, hoping she could get her gun and catch up with Daryl before anything happened to him.

It took her only a few second to get there. She dropped down roughly onto her hands and knees and started tossing around the the blanket that she sat on, the jacket she had been wearing, and her bag that had been left sitting there.

She quickly realized that she must have misplaced it and that she didn't have time to figure out where she had put it. She peered into the tent and saw the bag Rick had packed her, knowing that it had weapons tucked away inside of it.

With that familiar rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins and all of her thoughts on getting to Daryl, she crawled forward ready to get what she needed.

That was when she noticed more movement out the corner of her eye, just as she had minutes before. She saw the same streak of dark denim coming towards her, before she had a chance to make a single move towards the weapons.

The kick came at her hard and fast, without any chance her of blocking or avoiding it. She guessed he was aiming for her stomach or ribs, but instead he slammed into her upper arm, knocking her face first into the dirt.

The second hit was just as hard and this time he obviously struck his desired target.

When his boot collided with the side of her head she was instantly knocked out, only regaining consciousness when she was being lifted of the ground.

"Where is he?" the man spat as he held her up with obviously no effort on his part. She could feel the big arm twisted around her, holding her back against his broad chest.

She could barely consider the question he'd asked her.

She couldn't think about anything but the black spots fading and reappearing, blocking her vision and trying to pull her back under again. And maybe if she wasn't fearing for her life right now, she would be able to give in and let herself drift off into the blackness.

But she did fear for her life and that fear only intensified when she felt to the pressure applied to her temple.

"You're gonna come back with me" The man suddenly yelled far to loudly, considering her ear was only inches from his mouth.

She lifted her head and tried to pull herself from her dazed state. She wanted to know where he was taking her, what he was planning on doing to her. It wasn't until her head dropped back against the mans chest, that she realized that he wasn't talking to her.

That fear that he usually pushed down was on full display right now. His eyes danced over her and his head was shaking frantically to himself. She was worried that he was going to slip away into his unresponsive state and leave himself open to an attack. That this man would be given an easy opportunity to hurt him. Even more then he'd already been hurt.

"You come with me and she doesn't get hurt." the man promised, while pressing the gun even further into the side of her head.

"But if you want a fight Daryl? Ya gonna get one. I'll blow this bitches brains out and you'll still be comin' with me"

It was then that the fear evaporated from Daryl's eyes. He stopped looking her over and stopped shaking his head. A deep crease formed in his brow and his lip curled slightly as he snarled at the man.

"Look Daryl, I fucked up today. I messed up a big play that Negan planned. I went out with ten guys and they're all gone now." The man explained bitterly before letting out a dark and humorless chuckle. "I can't go back empty handed."

Daryl made no response and the man didn't seem to be expecting one. He was waiting for some kind of recognition to appear on Daryl's face, something that would let him know that Daryl understood and that he was going to cooperate.

"You were gonna have to go back eventually. You knew he was gonna find you sooner or later. You're Negan's, you belong back there."

She noticed the slight flinch at those words and she she couldn't help but shutter at them herself. Her blood had run cold and her mind raced with what could have happened to him there and what would happen to him, if he was taken back to that place. They'd already taken so much from him and she couldn't bare the thought of them taking a single bit more.

"Daryl, just run. Get out of here. It's ok" she pleaded, hearing her own voice brake as she spoke.

Daryl's eyes fell on her again. He held her gaze while she silently begged him to leave. But her pleading was pointless, even as she spoke the words she knew it was useless, she knew that he had no intention of going anywhere.

"Daryl, please don't-"

Before she could finish, he let out a loud and frustrated grunt, tossing his knife to the ground.

"Good. That's good" the man praised, as though he was talking to a dog who had finally obeyed him.

"Keep going Daryl."

Daryl nodded and chewed his lower lip.

There was shame and pain mixed into his now defeated expression. She could feel the tears in her eyes spill as he folded both his hands behind his neck, lowered his head and dropped to his knees.

She didn't know how many times someone had made him fall into this position. He looked vulnerable and frightened, but as usual there was nothing she could do to help him.

"You know the drill. I'm gonna tie your hands up and cover your eyes. You don't fight back and we don't have any problems. Then your gonna come back with me" the man said as he tightened his hold on her slightly. "If you cooperate, I promise to make sure she's not hurt. You understand?"

The slight nod of Daryl's head was the only response the man got. Daryl kept his head down, but she could see him stealing glances at them, before he darted his gaze back to the ground.

"Don't move bitch. I meant what I said. I'll put a damn bullet in that pretty head" the man barked as his arm suddenly fell from around her. She could see Daryl's jaw tighten at the threat, but other then a faint guttural growl, he stayed quiet and still.

She looked over her shoulder at him and watched the man move. He cut the rope that anchored the tent, grabbed her jacket from the ground, all while keeping his gun on her.

It was the first time that she had gotten a good look at him. He was huge. Any thoughts she had of fighting back were quickly forgotten and she found herself frozen in fear as he yanked her back against his chest again and started shuffling her towards Daryl.

"Lucky me huh?" the man laughed as he slowly walked her over to where Daryl was kneeling in the dirt. "I mean what are the god damn odds. I came here to hide. I was unarmed...alone. I thought, shit, I better go somewhere no fucker will find me. I guess you were thinking the same damn thing huh?"

When they were looming over Daryl his eyes glanced up at her once more. The defeat she had seen was gone. The fear had vanished. But that familiar drive for survival was there once again.

The man continued talking as he dropped her jacket to the ground and began unraveling the rope. Daryl's shoulders were no longer slumped forward, now they were stiff and flexed. She could see his chest rise and fall as he took in each hard breath.

"Guess I should thank ya." The man admitted with a smile as he pulled his arm from around her, trying to get a better handle on the rope. "Saved my ass finding you. Negan would have skinned me like a cat if I went back there and told him I fucked everything up-"

The man was big. Much bigger then Daryl. But the man was also clearly very stupid.

He was more interested in running his mouth, then focusing on what he was doing. It wasn't hard to believe he had been the one to mess up some major plan, especially when he couldn't execute this simple task before him.

The man rambled on as he shoved her aside, training his gun from her to Daryl without much thought. Maybe the man had thought that Daryl would be just as compliant with the gun pointing at him, he obviously hadn't considered that Daryl had been patiently waiting for that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**(Vibe: **The Cold by Exitmusic**)**

The corner of his upper lip raised slightly and she heard a rumbling building in his chest.

All she could do was take a big step back. She didn't know what he was about to do. But she was sure that he was seconds away from making a move and she didn't want to get in his way.

Noticing her movement, the mans head turned toward her, but his gaze never got a chance to land on her. Daryl instantly seized the opportunity.

He pounced from the ground and dived at the man, flying at him with enough force to knock him of his feet.

The sound of the gun being fired had her dropping to the ground on instinct.

As her ass hit the dirt, panic rose up in her quickly, as she wondered if Daryl had been shot, but all those concerns were erased when she looked over and noticed the gun in the dirt.

She had missed Daryl knocking the gun from his hand, she missed them both landing on the ground tangled up together.

All she'd caught of Daryl's attack, was the scene she witnessing right now.

She had seen him in more fights then she could could count, whether it was with walkers or with people. But she had never seen him like this. And she couldn't help but wonder if he'd always had this hidden away inside of him. Maybe it was buried within him so deep, that even he wasn't aware of it's existence.

He fought the savior with complete disregard for his own safety. He fought the man with more aggression then she ever knew one person could possess. It didn't matter the size of the man and she doubted it would have mattered if there were two more of them here. Daryl would win.

Right now, she didn't wonder how he'd ever managed to escape the compound. Right now, she was wondering how anyone had managed to contain him.

The way he moved, the sounds he made, the cold look in his eyes,... all of it held a primal fury. Whatever had happened to him, what ever it was that had changed in Daryl, was monumental and she had never been more aware of that fact, then she was right now.

When the man tried to lift himself up, Daryl took the opportunity to slam his own head into the mans face.

When the man tried to push Daryl off him, the movement was met by Daryl quickly snatching up the man's hand in his, then snapping it back.

The crying and begging that the man let out, went unnoticed by Daryl. He never stopped for a single second.

Then the pained sounds that the stranger managed to make, began to die out, until the man was silent. But she could still hear Daryl fists colliding with his face. It continued on, long after the man was quite obviously dead.

When she finally managed to take her eyes off the saviors unrecognizable face, she found that an overwhelmed and distant look, had now settled in Daryl's eyes.

It was clear that he was caught in a trance. He was caught in the same cage that usually had him pacing for hours on end.

"Daryl?"

She was on his left, away from the fist that flew back and forth, without any signs of stopping. She decided she was safe to crawl forward and settle on her knees by him.

The grunts he was making were evidence that he was tired. She also knew that Daryl had a backup supply of energy and he was able to draw on it when his heart was racing. Like it surely was right now. But she didn't want to wait for him to drain himself, she wanted to help him now.

She had never tried to pull him from an episode. She had never been able to consider a way of trying. And as much as she hated to think it, she was sure it was dangerous to approach him when he was like this. It sometimes appeared as though he had left his body. And what was left behind, didn't resemble something that could be reached or reasoned with.

"It's over. You can stop."

She spoke loudly, so that he could hear her over the hits he was still inflicting, but kept her voice calm so that she didn't frighten him, or cause an unwanted response.

But still, he kept going.

Without thinking she reached out to touch his shoulder. "It's over Daryl you can-"

Her words broke off, as her hand landed on him. The contact had been enough to snap him out of what he was doing, but not enough to clear the fear and anger that was consuming him.

In a second after making contact with him, he turned toward her, with his fist clenched and raised in the air, ready to strike.

She fell back on her hands. There wasn't enough time to do anything else to protect herself. She could only sit there as he pulled his elbow back and tensed his muscles. Her eyes snapped shut as she waited for a blow.

But the hit never came.

She opened her eyes a second later, when Daryl started releasing a wheezing sound, whistling from his chest, as though he was being suffocated.

Quickly he mirrored her position and fell back on his hands, using them to crawl away from her.

She could see fear in his expression, the same fear she had seen when he was woken from a nightmare.

His eyes darted from her, over to the mangled body on the ground and he suddenly began shaking his head.

The breathless sound he was making only got louder as the seconds passed, giving Daryl more time to take in the scene around him.

The panic in him, left him stumbling and falling over himself, landing him back on the sound he suddenly started making now, was the closest he'd come to an actual word, since her arrival. But that word was _No_, and it was repeated over and over again as he stumbled back and struggled to get to his feet.

"Daryl, it's ok. Everything is ok." She promised, though she found it hard to sound sincere, especially considering the way he looked right now. It was much easier to believe that everything was not okay.

He looked down at what remained of the savior in complete astonishment, as though he had only just realized everything that had happened. Whatever mode he had set himself into, what ever switch he had flipped so that he could fight, had been flipped back and he was clearly not handling the sight of before him.

His voice grew louder and his distress increased, but he finally managed to climb his way to his feet.

She quickly rose to chase after him, as he began heading towards the woods. Folding his arms over the sides of his face, and hunching himself forward as he moved.

Usually she let him go and have his time alone if he needed it, but she had never seen him leave while looking the way that he did right now.

Everything inside of her was screaming to stop him.

When his arms dropped, he shook his hands violently at his side, as though he was trying to remove something from his skin. Maybe he wanted to remove the blood that covered his hands, or maybe he was trying to rid himself of the memories that were still fresh in his mind. Maybe he was trying to remove the feeling of the mans face being crushed beneath his fists. No matter what it was, no amount of shaking was going to remove it.

"Daryl, please just come sit down" she begged as she chased after him. But Daryl charged ahead, quickening his pace more and more with each word she spoke.

She wasn't watching where she was going. She wasn't paying attention to where her feet landed on the ground. She was so desperate to stop him from leaving, that she missed the root twisting up from the ground. But she felt it the moment that her shoe was suddenly caught in it.

When she went down, she went down hard. Her hands flew out, hoping to stop herself from landing face first, but as usual, luck was not on her side. They slid out from under her and her head struck something hard.

"Shit!"

She spat out the string of curse words as she covered her brow with her hand, only pulling it away when she felt the warm moisture cover her palm.

The sudden growl had her looking up, finding him on his knees in front of her, moving closer and closer until her face was only inches from his. The fresh cut mixed in with the hits she had taken from the savior, would assure that it looked worse then it was. But she knew that she was going to have a hard time convincing him of that right now.

He didn't hesitate in taking her wrist and pulling her hand from the cut, so that he could inspect it. And he didn't think twice about settling his other hand on the side of her neck, to hold her in place.  
His mouth hung open in distress as he took in the cut, even though she was sure it was nothing to worry about.

When his eyes finally left the wound, it was only to look around him. She followed his gaze wondering what he was looking for, until his eyes settled on the rock that she had landed on.

She fought to hold back her laughter when she noticed him glare at it. She couldn't be entirely sure that he wasn't about to punch the thing.

"Daryl it's ok. I'm fine" she assured him, the sound of her voice brought his eyes back to her. He grunted out a frustrated sound and his hands suddenly gripped her waist and pull her to her feet with him.

She was far to stunned by the close contact to object any more then she had. All she could focus on was the concern on his face and his arm wrapped around her while he pulled her towards her tent.

He sat her down like she was a doll and quickly started looking around for something he could use to tend to the cut, but also help ease the anxiety he was feeling at the sight of it.

And though she knew it wasn't the right thing to do. She decided to use his current state to her advantage.

She watched him for a moment, as he dug around through one of her bags, one that she knew only held cooking supplies and nothing that would help him.

The expression he was wearing was unlike him.

The Daryl she knew held so much back from his face, especially if he was afraid or uncomfortable. Because of this she had spent years learning to read his eyes, or focus on the tone of his voice and she would use them to direct her, but that was no longer necessary. And she hated herself for thinking up a way to take advantage of that venerability. Even if it was something that was going to help him. She hated that it seemed like her only real weapon through this whole thing, had been manipulation.

"I have a first aid kit" she said softly, making his head snap in her direction, before his whole body froze.

When she didn't continue, or didn't make a move to get it for him, it was clear that he was annoyed. Both of his hands fell out in front of him, as he groaned out a sound that was intended to force her forward.

He wanted answers and she had every intention of giving them to him, but not straight away.

"I'll give it to you. But can you do something for me first?"

* * *

**A/N:**_ Let me know what you guys think of this one. All reviews are greatly appreciated._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **A few quick notes before we get going. Carl doesn't die and Negan is villainized to the point where he is really OOC (Basically erase all his redeeming qualities). Neither of these things really play a major role in the story, but I thought it was best to point them out.

_Drop me a review and let me know what you think of this installment._

* * *

**Chapter 8**

(**Vibe: **_About Today by The National_)

She kept her back to the water, to give him his privacy. It wasn't until she heard him clear his throat that she turned back around.

She had planned to maintain some kind of calmness. She wanted to make sure that she kept the space as peaceful as possible, for as long as she could. But when she laid her eyes on him, she found it hard to cover what she was feeling.

The dirt and dried blood that he'd been covered in, was finally gone. The dirty and ruined clothes that he had been wearing were replaced with clean ones. But the sight of him made her heart sink.

For some naive reason, one that she couldn't even remember now, she had thought this would make things better. She'd thought it would solve something. But all it did was reveal something that had been kept hidden from her.

Until now, it was almost as though he was wearing a mask and now that it had been removed, she could see all the damage that had been done to him.

But at least now she could help him. He had agreed to let her. That was all she had to hang onto right now, to keep herself from breaking down.

When her eyes found his face again, she realized that he was growing uncomfortable under her shocked expression. From what she had been able to piece together, Daryl didn't mind being starred at, he didn't mind her watching him. What he didn't like, was feeling as though something was expected of him and not knowing what that was.

She quickly worked to remove the pain from her face and forced a smile, but it didn't help him.

He stood awkwardly rubbing at his elbow with his hand and he looked as though every instinct was telling him to run. But he held his spot in front of her.

She held her smile and patted the ground next to her."You uh-… Sit-.. down… Please?" she stuttered out and quickly pulled her eyes from him again.

She started looking through the bag of supplies, giving him the time he needed to consider what he was going to do, without the pressure of her watching him.

He rolled back on his heels preparing to walk away.

She kept moving, pretending that she wasn't completely focused on what he was doing and how he looked while he was doing it.

When she glanced up quickly, she found that his face was scrunched up tightly. He shook his head and grunted, before he dropped himself down beside her. It was clear that he was frustrated with himself over the choices he was making.

She ignored the angered expression on his face and moved closer to him. He didn't seem to mind her doing that.  
It wasn't until she was reaching for his face to start working that he finally moved.

He grabbed a hold of her wrist and glared at her. She didn't have a second to question what he was doing or thinking. He pulled her hand down and reached passed her to grab the first aid kit, grumbling to himself as he searched through it.

His expression never softened as he placed one of his hands firmly on her cheek, tilting her head to the side, while his other hand started cleaning her up.

Once he was finished mopping up the blood, the crease in his brow grew and his eyes narrowed.

"It's not that bad"

She didn't know why she said it. Maybe to soothe his anxiety or ease his concern. She hadn't looked at her face, she didn't really know if it was bad or not. She had a headache, her face was throbbing from the blow she had taken and the cut was stinging as he poked and prodded at it. But the pain was nothing that she hadn't suffered through before.

In the end, it didn't matter why she said it. He ignored her anyway and started tightly sealing the cut with the butterfly stitches that he'd dug from the bag.

She watched the twitches of his upper lip, focusing on how his mouth moved slightly and his eyes squinted in concentration. Until he grunted and stood up abruptly.

The moaning that was sifting through the air, was evidence that they had forgotten to do something. Only now did they realize that the man had been lying there, slowly dying and they hadn't thought to put him out of his misery before he turned. But now she wished more then anything she had.

Daryl approached the savior, the same way he would any walker that trespassed into their space. He marched at it quickly gripping with his knife in hand. He didn't hesitate before he plunged the blade into the walkers skull. But when the body fell lifelessly to the ground, it was clear that Daryl was struggling with something.

He stood over the corpse, scanning the body with wild eyes.

He looked like he was trying to work out equation. Like he was adding something up in his head, but he couldn't calculate the answer. His concentration was unsettling and she didn't want to leave him lingering in it for to long.

"Daryl?"

Her voice snapped him out of his trance and he turned back to face her.

"C'mon. Let's get this done"

The nod he gave her was robotic, it was something he'd done without any thought.

He didn't look at her when he made his way back over and he didn't react when she got close to him.

He sat almost lifelessly and allowed her to tend to the injuries that had been left far to long.

He may not have been pacing and growling to himself, but she could see that same vacant look on his face. He was drifting away and it appeared there was nothing she could do to ground him here with her.

She moved herself closer to him and he adjusted his body to allow it. He didn't seem to mind. It didn't seem to bother him that she was nearly crawling over him.

She was up on her knees, her body pressed to his as she leaned forward, trying to dig out the stitches on the side of his temple. They were buried in his skin after being left there for far to long and though she was sure that she was hurting him, he didn't so much as flinch.

She'd thought that once she could clearly see the odd marks left on him, that she could make sense of them. But now she was as close as she could be, realizing that nothing would help her understand what had happened to him or why. Unless Daryl told her.

There were collections of small burns, cuts and bruises. And they had been inflicted with precision. She could see them on his arms neck and on what she could see of his chest. It was clear that he had been tortured and her mind could conjure up what had been used to create the marks.

But the small incisions that had been stitched up on him, were even more disturbing, because she couldn't come up with any reason why they were there or what they had been made for.

By the time she had worked her way through the wounds on his face, neck and arms, Daryl was barely there with her. He complied with her requests, _"Hold still" , "lift your arm", "tilt your head",_ but only after she used her hands to draw his attention back to her. He let her twist and turn him as she needed and didn't once appear uncomfortable by her closeness.

Over the years, Daryl had gotten comfortable with the _idea_ that people occasionally wanted to touch him. He understood now that it wasn't an attempt to hurt him, but rather to show him affection. But just because he understood the intention of the physical contact, didn't mean that he was comfortable with receiving it.

It had become an unspoken rule among what remained of their group, that you simply didn't touch Daryl unless he invited or initiated it.

It didn't matter that he loved them or that he trusted them. Those instincts to protect himself, were still there. They were deeply rooted in him and they caused him to recoil in fear or flare into a defensive rage, whenever he was met with a touch that he hadn't been expecting.

But right now, even though he'd rather she wasn't touching him, something about it felt different. He was accepting the physical contact in completely different manner then what she was accustomed to.

Of all those small things she noticed in him, mannerisms that reminded her of how he was before this had happened to him, this was not one of them. It was another sign that something very significant had taken place within Daryl, whatever had happened to him had altered something that she had once thought was cemented into his roots. And what he did next would only prove that the change she was noticing, was more substantial then she was capable of understanding.

She carefully pulled at his collar, trying to get a better look at a burn on his chest. The tugging of his shirt drew his gaze down. The spark of recognition in his eyes lasted only long enough for him to lean away from her. Without a second of consideration, Daryl pulled his shirt over his head and settled himself back in front of her, then let his mind wonder once more.

She sat perfectly still staring at him, just as she had done earlier, only Daryl was far to caught up in his own thoughts to notice.

There was to much for her to take in. It wasn't just that he had voluntarily taken his shirt of, but the lack of emotion in doing it. And then there was the damage that had been done to his already damaged body. These new injuries would eventually heal and when they did, it would leave very few spots on him that weren't scarred.

She could tell that he had used tree sap to close the bigger cuts and maybe he had even used something on the burns. Maybe that was why nothing appeared to be infected. But she didn't bother questioning him. Really, what would be the point?

She simply cared for what needed taking care of. He kept his eyes on the ground, gnawing at his lower lip and paid no attention to her, until she spoke again.

"I think that's it, but maybe-"

Before she could finish he jumped to his feet. She dropped back onto the ground and watched him as he slipped his shirt on and walked back to the mangled body.

There was a painful feeling twisting in her stomach, that only grew as she watched him drag the savior away. But she wouldn't allow herself to dwell on it. She wouldn't let herself believe the thoughts that were appearing as she looked at him. Because they felt like a betrayal. They brought guilt with them.

As he disappeared from her sights she heard the sharp whistle hit her ear.

When she looked in the direction of the sound, she could see Michonne in the distance, waving her over.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Michonne asked with a raised brow.

Carol nodded and stuffed the bottles back into the bag. "Unless you got a better idea?"

"No" Michonne admitted shaking her head.

When she looked back up, she noticed Michonne starring at her face and wincing slightly as she inspected it.

"Hopefully you won't run into anymore of them. There's no reason for them to be out this far."

She shook her head at Michonne's concern. "We'll be fine. Don't worry about us" she promised, hoping to put her mind at ease.

Michonne nodded, but she didn't look convinced. The fact was that there weren't any other options and Michonne knew it. It wasn't safe to put Daryl in the middle of a fight and there was no safe haven that the war wasn't intruding on. This was the closest to safe that was on offer.

"I'll come back when it's over. Then-…And then you can both come home"

There was a lot of caution in Michonne's tone and Carol knew why she had said the words so carefully. When she'd left Alexandria, she didn't have any intentions of returning and Daryl quite obviously didn't want to be there either, or he would have returned after his escape.

But rather then point out something that Michonne surely knew, she smiled and nodded.

Michonne had left as quickly as she had arrived. She left with the promise of returning and that she was only a call away if she was needed. It was clear that the women was in a hurry. She had things to do and Carol knew there was surely a fight somewhere waiting on her arrival. But she couldn't concern herself with that, especially when she had a plan of her own to execute.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

(**_Vibe: _**_5am by Amber Run_ )

She could feel the fine layer of sweat forming on her brow, brought on by the fire that she was hovering around to make their dinner.

Some nights Daryl would sit with her while she cooked for him. He usually stared her down while she worked. Not that she minded. She was just happy to have his company.  
She talked, aimlessly about anything that came into her head, never really knowing if he was listening to a single word.

But tonight was different.

After Michonne had left, she'd waited for him come back. She had waited on him for hours, but he never returned to the campsite.

It was late when he finally wandered back, with his shoulders squared off tightly and his head hanging. He was gnawing away at his thumb, while shaking his head and growling to himself. She knew he was at the end of an episode.

It horrified her to think that he had been out there alone, while he was going through something like that.

Most of the time, Daryl seemed to have a good sense of his surroundings. He seemed aware when a walker was getting near him and he was able to defend himself. What she was worried about, was that one day, he wouldn't be so observant. That one day, he would be caught off guard and not realize that he was in danger.

"Daryl?"

His pacing paused and he set his tired eyes on her.

"Come have dinner?" she asked, smiling softly at him.

He made no move to join her and she could tell from the expression on his face, that he wished she'd leave him be.

"Just come and have something to eat. I'll leave you alone, but only after toy have something to eat." she promised.

Still, he didn't move.

"You need to eat." she reminded him, because it seemed like he genuinely forgot sometimes that he did actually have to eat.

He grunted and growled at her. But finally moved his feet towards her.

He glared at her as he sat in his usual spot and she couldn't help but let the angered expression upset her.

It wasn't like him. He never used to look a her like that, but since she had found him out here, he looked at her like this all the time.

She frustrated him now, she upset him, she crowded him and angered him. She wasn't used to making him feel this way. It hurt knowing that he was having these reactions to her.

His eyes were locked on the flames while she finished making dinner. He didn't look up when she was serving it into the bowls and he didn't notice her crushing the sleeping pills and mixing them into his food.

They ate in silence and she watched him as he quickly made his way though his meal, unaware of what she had done to his food.

By the time Daryl was making his way through his second helping of stew, it was clear that the effects of the pills were starting to overpower him.

"You look tired. You should get some sleep. I can keep watch"

She knew he had heard her, but he didn't respond in any way.

He put his emptied bowl on the ground in front of him and began wiping at his face harshly, trying to rub away the exhaustion, that he was in a loosing battle against.

Since she had been here. Daryl had refused to sleep in the tent, on a mat, or even by the fire.

He would always fall asleep leaning up against a tree, while looking out over the water. Eventually he would curl up on the ground and stay there in the dirt until the dreams that invaded his mind became to much for him to bare.

She had tried to approach him, to cover him over with a blanket, or at the very least she had tried to get a closer look at his injuries. But whenever she had gotten close to him, he would wake up. It was as though he was never fully asleep.

Maybe his mind knew how dangerous it was out here. It was possible that there was a part of him that was listening for a predator approaching him, weather it was a walker or an unwelcome human. Maybe that was why he was never able to fully let his guard down and let himself fall into a deep sleep.

But it was possible that he never let himself sleep to heavily, because he knew that what awaited him, was far to horrifying to willingly hand himself over to.

But again, tonight was different. She had made sure of that.

She dropped her eyes from him when he stumbled, trying to lift himself up off the ground. She was thankful that he was far to out of it to question why his legs didn't seem to be cooperating with him.

When he dropped back down onto the ground, he frowned and shook his head slightly.

"Just lay down Daryl. Get some rest" she encouraged.

She watched his frown deepen as he accepted that he couldn't hold his body up, or keep himself upright anymore.

His arms gave out and he fumbled to catch himself before he hit the ground. But once he was down he stayed down.

For the first night since her arrival, he was clean and his wounds had been tended to. He was fed, sleeping safely and warmly by the fire.

She waited a few minutes. She waited until she could hear him snoring and his limbs all looked heavily planted onto the ground. But once she was sure that he was fast asleep, she got a blanket and a pillow and took the few steps needed to fill the space between them.

Now that he was asleep, surrounded only by the warm and dim light of the fire. It was almost easy to forget that anything had changed. It was to dark to make out any of his injuries. All she could see was the familiar outline of his body.

When she knelt next to him and slowly covered him over with the blanket His whole form seemed to invite the warmth that it brought and she watched as he curled himself up slightly.

She had thought he was dead to the world, but when she lifted his head to slide the pillow in, he stirred slightly and looked up at her.

His eyes were barely opened and it was clear from his expression that he was surprised to see her there hovering over him.

She opened her mouth, ready to explain herself, but quickly realized that no explanation was needed.

The smile that appeared on his face was weak and brief, but she had seen it. Just as she had seen it appear on his face a thousand time before, but in a different time and in what felt like a different world.

She slipped the pillow under his head and froze when his arm reached out to wind around her, weakly pulling her closer, before he fell asleep again.

There had been nights at the prison, long, cold winter nights, where she thought they would wake to find that not everyone had survived through to morning. Nights when the cold air felt as though it was cutting at your skin. And on those nights she had gone into his cell. He had never questioned it. He had simply woken up, very much the same like he just had. He would smile slightly, hold the blanket up for her, until she had crawled in next to him. Then he would curl his arm around her, like he just had.

She wondered if somewhere in his mind, he had imagined them back in that cell, maybe that was why he had accepted her being right there when he woke up. Maybe he was imagining one of those nights on the road when she always searched him out when she was ready to go to sleep.

Whatever the reason, he hadn't let her go. She could lie and say that she didn't want to disturb him and that was why she hadn't pulled his arm from her waist. But there was no point in lying to herself.

The truth was, she liked having him there, she liked being close to him. She liked the memories that flooded her mind when she thought about all of the other times she had found herself in a similar position with him. Back during those times when she knew without any doubt, that they were tightly connected.

There had always been groups within the group. That's just the way it was. Glenn, Maggie and Sasha. Rick, Carl, Judith and Michonne. Abraham, Rosita, Tara and Eugene. Her and Daryl.

There were all one family, but with in that family, people had gravitated to certain people. There were different things that cemented those relationships. Blood, time, secrets, trust…love.

The lines that separated them all were thin. They were so fine that they were almost invisible. They were only truly noticeable to the people within the close group.

They were distinguished by who you talked to late at night, who you got close to when you were cold and who you sought out when you needed someone to be there.

Those lines were the reason she was here with him right now, they were the reason why Michonne had come to find her when Daryl needed help.

She stayed next to him all night and she fought against her own exhaustion. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning, that she finally gave in and laid down.

She kept her eyes open and listened out for sounds of walkers approaching, but she just couldn't hold herself up anymore.

The sun was rising when she felt him shift next her. It was then that her body gave in and allowed her to drift off into the sleep that she had been struggling against. It was easy to let herself go when she knew he was awake and safe.

She barely registered him getting up from his spot next to her, but she didn't miss him wrapping the blanket around her and sliding the pillow under her head. She didn't miss the way he lightly rubbed her arm before he got up.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

(**_Vibe: _**_Silver Coin by Angus & Julia Stone_)

The first thing she noticed about him was his complexion and that he didn't look as pale as he had. Then there was his eyes and how they didn't look as intense, they didn't stare at her as harshly and they didn't jump around as wildly. They didn't look as red and painful.

As she sat herself up, he turned to face her. He didn't jump at the sudden movement or glare when she surprised him. He looked her over with a simple acceptance in his eyes. Clearly, he had been waiting for her to wake up and it showed in the placid and contented look that he wore.

There was something softer about his expression and about the way he held himself. It was somehow more approachable and it made the space around him feel less tense.

It filled her with more hope for the future then she'd allowed herself to feel before.

He dropped the pile of branches by the fire and slowly started tossing them onto the dying flames, causing them to flare up once more.

He met her eyes again, before he stood up and took the pot with him to the stream. While she stayed in place and watched him move around the camp.

Ever since she had gotten here, It had felt like she was reaching for him, but he was always just out of reach. But right now she was sure if she stretched her hand just a little further, she would be able to grab a hold of him again.

That thought led her to the next problem she had to deal with. And how she was going to go about it.

She thought about slipping the pill into his coffee, just like she had done the night before with the sleeping pill. But the idea of drugging him multiple times a day, didn't feel like something she could pull off.

Very soon, she was hoping he wouldn't need the sleeping pills. But the other pills that had been made up for Daryl, was something he was going to need to take for some time to come.

Ultimately the pills were Lavender oil. That's what Michonne had told her. They were a natural calmative and they were apparently going to help Daryl deal with his anxiety.

Siddiq, the new doctor in Alexandria, had said there were any number of things that might help Daryl, but he didn't feel comfortable prescribing strong drugs to someone he hadn't even met.

But this was something that though he swore was not only effective, but natural and wasn't likely to cause any damage. It was the safest option.

What she wasn't sure of, was if Daryl would take them if he knew what they were. She didn't really know where he stood on such things. It wasn't something they'd ever talked about. It would be easy for him to refuse them, she wouldn't really be surprised if he did. Especially in the mindset that he was in right now. She wasn't even sure if Daryl was lucid enough to know that he needed help.

He hung the pot over the flames and started gathering what he needed to make some coffee for them and she smiled at his efforts.

She was already lying to him, she could glitter it up all she wanted, but in the end she was tricking him. So what was one more lie?

She sighed heavily and promised herself that she would eventually come clean and tell him everything she had done.

She hoped that when the time came for to tell him, that Daryl would have adjusted enough to sit down and have an actual conversation about it.

And if doing all this meant that a conversation was something she could one day have with him, then it would all be worth it.

She got up from her spot and sat herself next to him. Once again he regarded her with nothing more then a soft acknowledgement of her presence, before he went back to what he was doing. That reaction pushed her to continue on with what she was planning out in her head.

She pulled the small container from the bag as Daryl started pouring the coffee's. She waited until after he handed her a cup and settled himself beside her with his own, before she pulled a pill from the bottle.

"Can you take this?" she asked, holding the pill out to him.

He looked from the capsule in her hand, to her face with a raised brow. Silently questioning her.

"It's just some antibiotics. To make sure you don't get an infection. That's all."

Again he looked from the pill to her face, inspecting whatever it was that he could see in her expression.

"I just want to make sure your healthy. That's all." she promised softly.

And that much was very true. She wanted him healthy and happy. She didn't want him jumping at his own shadow or hitting himself in some horrible attempt to rid himself of the screaming in his mind.

Finally, he bobbed his head slightly before taking the pill from her and quickly swallowing it down.

It would be weeks before the pills could fully take effect, but she hoped that it would eventually help him find some peace.

* * *

She guessed that what she was looking at now was a new version of the episodes that Daryl suffered through.

They looked a lot like the old ones, but he didn't seem as committed to them. He didn't seem as stuck in them. They didn't seem as violent.

He had started to drift off very soon after they had eaten lunch. She had seen the vacant look growing more intense as time went by and she had tried to talk to him, to keep him grounded, but it hadn't worked.

There was so much confusion and distress in his eyes right now, that it had her concerned.

Now that he had slept, maybe it was easier for him to focus on whatever was playing out in his head. She wasn't really sure. But she could see that anger and frustration that had always mixed been into these ordeals, was nowhere to be seen in his expression. And as distant as he looked right now, he didn't appear erratic or crazed.

It was hard to tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Because though he didn't appear to be completely detached from reality, he did look as though someone had pushed their hand into his chest and was squeezing his heart.

What Daryl was experiencing was very different to what he had grown used to. She guessed his reaction to the attack was owing more to the fact that he hadn't experienced anything like it before and he didn't know how to respond.

She could see his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. She could see the way he was hunched forward slightly as he paced. How his steps were slowing to the point where he wouldn't be walking at all very soon.

She moved towards him, watching him closely.

She was sure that something was about to happen. She just didn't know what.

She rushed to his side as he stuttered out the broken sounds that got louder and louder. She reached him as he covered his face with his hands and started shaking his head frantically.

She lightly took his wrists in her hands and tugged on them, hoping he would pull his hands from his face and look at her.

"Daryl!"

He didn't respond to her pleas and it was clear that he was in to much distress to do much of anything.

She followed him to the ground as he dropped to his knees. Begging him to look at her, to listen to her, to know that he was here with her. But it didn't could hear her, but couldn't accept what she was saying, or that maybe the demons in his head wouldn't let him.

She couldn't take a second more of the pained cries and the pleading sound that he was wailing out.

She let go of his wrists and took hold of his shoulders, pulling his large form into hers. He collapsed into her, causing her to sway back as he slid down her chest, until his head landed on her lap.

She leaned forward and folded her body over his and pressed her face into his hair.

She told him he was, that it was over and that he was going to be ok. She kept telling him these things over and over again, praying that he would eventually listen to them.

There was no way of telling what flipped the switch in his head. Suddenly his hands were unclasped from his face and his arms were wrapping around her waist, then he was burying his face into her stomach.

She continued to make promises to him long after his breathing slowed. She kept her face buried in his hair and her hands moving over shoulders long after his body finally relaxed into hers. She stayed like that with him for hours, until he was ready to move.

* * *

In the week that followed, she could see that everything had changed. He had changed. But he hadn't changed back to the Daryl she used to know, he wasn't even close.

But still, he had changed.

He took the pills each morning. Then without knowing, he was also taking the sleeping pills at night. And there were whole days when he didn't slip away from her. He would stay grounded and aware.

But on those days when he couldn't seem to hang onto reality, she was right there with him now, holding him as close as she could and talking him through the dark halls of his mind until he found his way back into the light once more.

The episodes didn't last for hours on end anymore and he wasn't alone through them. There were even times when he approached her right before it was ready to start, right when he knew he was going to loose control. He would seek her out for the comfort and safety that she was ready to willingly hand over.

He could sit next to her, like he was right now and he didn't seem paranoid or angry. He didn't glare at her for no reason and he didn't shy away from her.

He was within her reach now. She didn't feel like she was loosing him anymore.

"Do you remember?" she asked, recalling a day when they were all still living at the prison.

He looked at her blankly as he ate his dinner beside her. He didn't look uncomfortable or annoyed, like he would have looked weeks ago when she first arrived. He merely looked a little lost.

"You and Rick argued about it for days after….Months" she added, wondering if he simply needed to have his memory jogged.

The story was one that she had heard Rick and Daryl argue over, time and time again. It was nothing of great importance. Not anymore. But it was a topic that both Daryl and Rick returned to often.

Daryl and Rick had hooked up a generator, that was only to be used in emergencies. Daryl had sworn the thing was ready to go. He had insisted that it was grounded and there wouldn't be any problems with it.

The problem was that when the time came to use it, it had sparked and then given Rick a shock that jolted through him hard enough that it knocked him off his feet and had his heart pounding in his chest.

What followed the accidental electrocution was an argument that seemingly never ended.

Someone was at fault and Daryl wouldn't accept the blame. He would fight it out with Rick all day if given the chance.

Daryl had been sure that Rick had done something wrong, he was sure that Rick had somehow messed with the finely tuned system and then caused the shock himself.

Rick argued that the system had never been finely tuned to begin with. He constantly pointed out that Daryl, though he was good at a lot of things, he was not an electrician. From there the argument would continue on for hours if given the chance.

The pair of them had cleared rooms when they started up the tired discussion. No one lingered around them for long when they got going again, because they had heard it all before and truly couldn't bare to hear it again.

Away from Daryl and Rick, the rest of the group were complaining that the two men were driving them crazy. They'd had mock votes about removing them and made jokes about driving the two men far enough away that they wouldn't be able to find their way back. They had decided that it would be better if the two of them continued this fight out on the road, where they didn't run the risk of pushing everyone to the brink of insanity.

Slowly he met her eyes and looked over her face. His expression was soft and there was a slight shake of his head.

"No?" she questioned. But he didn't offer her another reply.

"At one point I was sure you were going to start a fist fight over it." she smiled to herself as the memory hit her. "That day in the library, when you were moving those tables out…" She stopped when his expression didn't change. "You really don't remember?"

He shook his head again and looked back down at his bowl. "Wasn't me" he said simply before he started eating again.

There were two reasons why she sat starring at him with her lips parted and her eyes wide.

The sound of his voice instantly struck something inside of her and it felt like hearing it had knocked the air out of her chest.

It was a hard thing to describe, missing the sound of someone speak. It was hard to describe what it was about the sound that you missed, what hearing it each day meant to you.

And then there was what he had said.

Her mind repeated those simple words over and over again.

"But you remember it. Right?" she whispered.

Daryl nodded in reply, locking his eyes on her cautiously.

"But it wasn't you" she confirmed.

He shook his head once and watched her carefully.

He was waiting for her reaction, he was clearly worried with what that reaction might be. It was right then that a hundred different things in her head clicked together and finally made some sense. Things he had done, things he had reacted to, they finally made sense to her.

She let out a shaky breath and smiled at him, nodding to herself as she spoke. "Ok. That's ok."

A wave of relief came over him and she could see the faintest hint of a smile on his mouth. She could see his shoulders slouch forward as more of the tension and nervousness left his body.

She didn't question him about their past anymore. Because he had made it clear that it no longer belonged to him.

She wasn't a doctor. She didn't know how to reconnect him to something the he had dissociated himself from.

His mind had pushed everything away to protect him. From what she didn't know and maybe she never would.

She figured that at some point in that compound Daryl had been given a fresh slate, but then that to had been tainted by the torture that he had endured.

She watched him as he ate and it hit her then that the Daryl she knew wasn't coming back. He was never going to be the same way that he was because that person no longer existed.

It took everything she had, not to fall to pieces at the thought.

She waited until the sleeping pills had spread through his system and he laid down by her, resting his head on her lap, before she let the weight of his words fully dawn on her.

She combed through his hair with her fingers and watched him sleep. And during the night as he rested there with her, she mourned the loss of the man he was.

Maybe people would see it as giving up, but it didn't feel like that. It felt like acceptance. He didn't need her trying to shape him back into the person that he was. If she tried to do that, then she would be doing for herself, not for him. He needed her to help him go forward, not drag him backwards.

It was still Daryl.

He could cut himself off from memories and feelings, but in the end, deep down he was the man that she knew. And she would gladly take that. She was grateful that she still had him in some way.

* * *

**A/N: **Reviews are really appreciated and give me the kick I need to get this story moving. So please let me know what your thinking.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

(**Vibe: The Wisp Sings by Winter Aid **)

She took all of the things she knew about him and put them away. She didn't dispose of them and she didn't force herself to forget them. But rather she put them into that place in her mind where she stored all of the memories of the people she had cared for, but were no longer here. And once she had committed herself to doing that, things got better.

It didn't just get easier for her, it got easier for Daryl too. It was as if he could sense that she didn't expect anything from him anymore. There were no rules, no regulations on what she thought he was, or how he was supposed to act. It was clear that Daryl was aware of that. He was free to do and be whatever it was that he had become.

Now that she had stopped making assumptions about what he was thinking, based on what she knew about him from before, he was actually a lot easier for her to read. And he was much more open and willing to let her in.

It was clear that in many ways, he was longing to pull her close, because he didn't want to be alone. Not really.

He'd smiled at her before he left, using that crooked smile that had always made her heart flutter in her chest. Then he'd given her a small nod, that she had taken as a "_see you later_".

He didn't need to use his words to let her know where he was going. She could figure that out on her own. She knew his routine.

He still dragged the bodies away from the camp and he still hunted down whatever he could for their meals. So, knowing it was nearing lunch time, she guessed that he was going to see what he could find.

She gave up on the few simple chores that she needed to complete. She decided that cleaning the dishes or tidying their space could wait, until after she had tended to a few of her own needs.

She took a long look around while she removed her clothes and dropped them into a pile of the ground. Daryl would be gone for hours and the area was clear. She hadn't seen a walker since morning, so she decided, as she walked into the water, that there was no better time then now.

The sun had been beaming down on her through the trees and she was happy that she had found some relief from the dry heat. Maybe that was why she let the time pass without much thought. She dropped herself below the surface and stayed there for as long as her lungs would allow.

She couldn't hold back the gasp when when she came back up and found him standing on the shore line.

That same crooked smile appeared and the next thing she knew he was unbuttoning his shirt without a second thought.

His expression was almost playful,…eager,…alluring. Primal.

She was sure that the sight of him like this had her looking like a shocked cartoon character. But even that didn't seem to bother him.

She had seen him shirtless more times then she could count, but it had always been for some unavoidable reason, or it had happened purely by accident. She had walked in on him while he was changing his shirt or she had helped him when he had suffered another injury, that he couldn't tend to himself.

But right now she couldn't say the reason was unavoidable and it definitely was not by accident.

But even with consent to look at him, all she could seem to look at now, was his face. The shame that had once been there, whenever he was caught without all of his clothes, was gone.

It had been one of those things that she had always dreaded seeing. It was one of the reasons she didn't like seeing him with his shirt off. She didn't want to do anything that would make him feel like that. It made her feel physically sick to know that he felt like that, let alone knowing that she was was the one causing it.

He had done nothing to deserve those scars. Those marks said more about how horrible people had treated him and said nothing about the kind of person he was. But he never viewed them that way.

He pulled his eyes from hers, but only to look down while he unbuttoned his pants and stepped out of them.

His wide eyes found hers again as his feet hit the stream. She smiled at him, knowing the chill of the cold water had surprised him, but soon the shock left his face and he waded through the stream towards her.

Daryl's brain couldn't connect the dots between what he had been and what he was. It couldn't join up the emotions that should have gone hand in hand when remembering something he had experienced. And that was never as clear as it was right now.

The coy expression on his face, the way his eyes were fixed hard on hers. It couldn't be described as anything but flirtatious. And she honestly had no idea what to do with that.

He smiled at her widely before he disappeared below the waters surface, leaving her to watch his form in the clear stream, grow closer and closer until he rose up in front of her.

He wiped his hand over his face roughly and focused his attention back on her, and she felt the need to fill the silence, because she didn't know what else to do right now.

"I thought you were hunting"

Daryl shrugged and the crooked smile he had been wearing, actually stretched out a little further.

"Snares. Got Rabbits." The words had barely left his mouth when she felt his hands grip her waist. And maybe should have been more focused on the physical contact, then she was on the sound of his voice. But contact? She got that from him daily, almost hourly. But his voice was rarely shared with her. She could count the words he said each week on one hand and she'd still have fingers to spare.

He let his eyes fall slightly, looking down at what he could make out through the water, before he slowly drew them back up to hers, slowly scanning what he could.

Daryl was no different to her, he'd seen her in her underwear more times then was probably appropriate. On the road he had kept watch for her while she cleaned up, and he had mistaken the mumbles of "almost finished" for "finished".

There were times when he had walked into a room that he didn't know she was using.

There were times when he had come into rooms that he had known she was using, but he was such a hurry to find her, that he hadn't thought to knock.

And when ever it happened, Daryl had seemed just as sorry as she had during those times that she'd accidentally caught a glimpse of him. He didn't want to embarrass her and he didn't want to be the reason she felt bad about herself.

But the smirk he was wearing right now, made it impossible to feel embarrassed. She couldn't quite pin point what she was feeling as he pulled her closer to him. Intrigued maybe? Maybe a little bit disturbed. Sometimes, like right now, she had to fight the urge to stop and ask him 'what the hell is going on, who are you!'

Slowly he pulled her back with him, deeper and deep her into the stream, hold her up of the ground against his chest. She wasn't sure why he decided to stop where he did, but she guessed it was because they were no longer covered by the trees that hung over the water. Now she could feel the sun on her shoulders. He didn't object when she curled her arms around his neck rested her head against the side of his. What she heard was a sigh, the kind you release when you've gotten yourself into the exact right position to fall asleep.

She knew if she tried to retell this to someone else, they would read to much into it. They would think that she and Daryl must have been flooded with heart pounding anticipation. That both of them must have spent the whole time waiting for the other to make a move. But it simply wasn't like that.

There was sleepy look in his eyes, that she could see when ever she pulled back to see his face.

He looked to her as though he had figured out a way to stop, just a minute, and take a breath.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

(**_Vibe:_**_ Anchor by Novo Amor_)

He took the pills from her every morning without question, as if they had just become a part of his routine. He didn't seem to consider that she had told him they were to ward of infection, yet now all of his wounds had clearly healed and were turning to scars.

And she continued to slip him the sleeping pills at night without him knowing and he never questioned how exhausted he would suddenly become. There was just to much stirring inside of him to worry about something so small and seemingly insignificant.

She had guessed that because he was getting a goodnight sleep and that because his anxiety was being somewhat treated, it had helped him cope with whatever was happening inside of his own head. But it was by no means a cure. It wasn't an easy fix and she doubted one existed. The fact that he still didn't question the pills she gave to him, or the fact that he blacked out every night was proof that he still wasn't thinking clearly, he was still having trouble focusing on reality.

There were days when she could have almost convinced herself that she had imagined any progress he had made, because the sights she was often faced with, didn't look like a man who was getting better.

She had to remind herself, when she followed after him, as he paced back and forth, that it wasn't to long ago that she wasn't able to approach him. She had to remember that there was a time when he would be stuck in that state for most of the day, but now she could put in an effort and offer her patients, and slowly pull him from it.

Though she wasn't entirely sure how long she had been out here with him, it still hadn't been long enough to grow comfortable with his constant silence.

There were whole days that would pass when she was lucky to receive a grunt in response from the simple questions she asked.

There were days when he ignored her completely.

There were days when she would look into his eyes and she could tell that he felt just as lost as he had when she had first arrived.

The words he did offer her, were few and far between. And maybe she could have accepted that, if she wasn't able to look at him and see the fear that had settled in his eyes. She could have accepted it, if she couldn't see the shadows of things inside of him, that were begging to be released.

Sometimes it was easy to forget that things had changed since that first day when she had come looking for him.

Sometimes when things got hard, it was easy to just dwell on the notion that they weren't getting anywhere.

But those thoughts always passed.

That's what she was focusing on right now. Not that things may appear hopeless, but the fact that she would soon be reminded that they weren't. She could soon be reminded that it could be worse.

From the second Michonne arrived, Daryl had been withdrawn and on edge. She wasn't sure if it was Michonne specifically that was bringing on this reaction, or if it was simply that someone was invading on his space and his carefully constructed routine.

Either way it didn't matter, It was clear that she was making him uncomfortable. She was greatful that at the very least, Michonne ignored the way Daryl had watched her all afternoon and how he continued to watch her until he finally fell asleep.

"You should come back to Alexandria now. Both of you." Michonne pressed as she settled herself across from where she had settled, by the fire with Daryl.

She shook her head. "I don't know. Daryl, he's-"

"He's doing better. Much better then I expected. He can heal at home, both of you should be at home where it's safe"

"Things set him off. I told you that he can't handle-." she stopped and sighed and looked down to where his head was resting on her lap. "I don't even know what will set him off sometimes" she confessed. She hated admitting that she wasn't one hundred percent sure of what could happen if Daryl was put in that kind of situation. She had seen the look in his eyes when he had killed the savior. She knew just how dangerous and detached from reality Daryl could become, especially if he felt threatened. And it seemed that there were few things that Daryl didn't find threatening.

She noticed Michonne's expression soften and the slight nod of her head, that she seemingly done for herself, as she worked through the thoughts in her own head."I can explain all of this to everyone before you come back."

Michonne's eye's were fixed on hers, waiting for an answer that she still wasn't ready to give her. She couldn't stop herself from considering all the problems that could arise.

"Everyone just wants to help Carol." Michonne added quietly, obviously sensing her reluctance to give in.

"And Negan?" she asked, looking back down at Daryl and wondering what would happen if he were ever faced with Negan again. What damage it could do to someone already so broken.

"Negan is staying in his cell. There is no reason for Daryl to even know he's in Alexandria."

"You think we should lie?" she questioned.

"I think you should do what's best for him." Michonne offered, her brow raising slightly before she continued. "Like you already are. Even if it means doing something without him knowing."

She knew Michonne was referring to the pills that she had been drugging Daryl with. She knew she was deceiving Daryl and in a lot of ways even manipulating him. But she had reasoned with herself weeks ago, that she would do just about anything to help him.

"Carol"

She lifted her eyes back up and looked at Michonne, wondering if this women really had any idea what she was asking for.  
How could she?

Truthfully, Carol herself wasn't even sure of what would happen if Daryl were put back into Alexandria.

"You can't stay out here Carol. You know that."

* * *

She had seen Daryl enraged. She had seen him with a dark look in his eyes that reminded her of a wild and crazed animal that had been backed into a corner. She couldn't deny that there were times when she was afraid of him.

And maybe if Michonne had seen the things that she had, then she wouldn't be pushing for them to come back to Alexandria. Maybe if she had seen him in those states of madness then she wouldn't be approaching him with such carelessness.

She froze as she watched Michonne make her way over to where Daryl was sitting alone by the water.

He had avoided them both all morning and Michonne hadn't questioned his absence, but now she had decided to invade on his space, before she left.

Maybe it was some kid of test. Maybe she wanted to see how he would react, or figure out just how detached he was.

But really, she guessed that Michonne simply missed him.

Daryl's head turned slightly with Michonne's loud approach, but he refused to turn his head and acknowledge her. Even when Michonne sat herself next to him, he continued to stare straight ahead, as though he hoped that if he simply ignored her then she would just go away.

Once she had been sitting quietly next to Daryl for a few minutes, he glanced quickly at her, but Michonne kept her eyes on the water.

Not having the pressure of her eyes on him, seem to help him relax, even if it was only slightly.

"I need to leave now. I need to get back" Michonne offered with a calm and even tone, starting what would surely be a one sided conversation.

"It was good seeing you though" Michonne said, still keeping her eyes on the water, even when Carol was sure that she could feel Daryl glancing in her direction, assessing the women as though she might be dangerous.

"Do I get a goodbye?" Michonne asked with a small smile, finally turning her head slightly, just in time to see Daryl snap his eyes back to water, trying to avoid making eye contact with her.

"No?"

Michonne shrugged and nodded. "Well. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Look after Carol"

Michonne stood up and ignored Daryl flinching and tensing at the sudden movement. She took one last look at him, scanning her eyes over him, as if she was committing the sight to her memory.

"Bye Daryl" Michonne said, slowly walking away, only stopping when the sound of his voice hit her ears. It was as quiet as always and yet it always erupted through the silence like thunder, making her head turn back in disbelief, as though he had said something life altering, instead of the single word he offered.

"Bye"


End file.
